well. Am i too depressed 4 u.? LMAO

the sky today is gloomy, the breeze is as cold as ice.


While here I am trying to think of any better thing to do.


Im emotionally distorted.

Im feeling this misery. again.


I really dont know~ ....no matter how hard I try to be happy.

The sadness always overcomes me.


Im losing my reasons to live.


Everywhere I go, this broken feelings always comes in the way~
and no matter how people see me as cheerful, It's always the opposite of how I feel.
But I have to make them believe , Im sorry.

But~ it's better this way, at least people won't feel awkward.
they always told me how cheerful, happy go lucky I am~
hearing those words, make me feel a little relief.calm. and rested.


Yet...


Im incapable of feeling joy.

incapable of reasoning to people, which I dont really care to reason w/.

Im in my inflicted torture.


I need to go out sometimes.
I need to find my friends.
I dont want to be alone~

But~~ at the end,

Im always here, in this dimmy room,
w/ my detached self from this chaotic world.


I want to find the reason to live~